Is happiness a choice?

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Hi everyone! We just wrapped up one of my favorite Sunday meetings in a long time <3 I was reminded of the power of this community and that we’re never truly alone in our thoughts and feelings. We also discussed happiness and whether it’s actually something we get to choose. I’ll be taking the next few days to sit with and journal on everything that was shared, but here are a few of the points that came up:

• Happiness isn’t a constant state or a simple choice — it’s shaped by many things, including brain chemistry, hormones, mental health, and our relationships with others.

• It’s not realistic to feel “happy” all the time. Our emotions go through seasons, just like nature.

• Being hyper-focused on our individual happiness can actually pull us further away from it. Humans are relational by nature, and helping others, turning outward, and leaning on community often brings us the deepest sense of fulfillment.

• Substances can create artificial “extreme” versions of happiness and excitement, and when we chase those highs while sober, it’s no wonder we end up feeling low afterward. They’re not realistic to begin with!

• Sometimes feeling our best or “happiest” is not about chasing excitement or fun, but contentment, neutrality, and a state of steadiness.

• Putting pressure on ourselves to feel happy during situations/events that we think should make us happy doesn’t help.

— Steph

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNIE!!

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If you’re new, check out our intro to Steady Sunday here.

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💻 This Week’s Meetings

Sunday, 2/1 — 10-11 a.m. PT / 1-2 p.m. ET

Tuesday, 2/3 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET

Thursday, 2/5 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET

Zoom meeting links are sent in our Discord chat:

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✨ Meeting Notes

• As Dry January comes to a close, it’s natural for mixed feelings to come up, especially for those of us on long term sober journeys. On one hand, it can feel encouraging to see so many people experiment with a sober lifestyle and have fun with it. At the same time, it can highlight the difference between those who can (seemingly) easily step in and out of drinking versus those of us that need to be sober and don’t necessarily have a “normal” relationship with alcohol. If you notice feelings of resentment or jealousy toward people who are able to “take it or leave it,” know that you’re not alone and your feelings are completely valid. Trust the path that you’re on is right for YOU, you are never alone, and remember all the goodness that sobriety brings. ❤️

• Chrissy Teigen recently shared a powerful reflection on Instagram about her sobriety and evolving relationship with alcohol, and it’s a story many of us may relate to. She speaks to the kind of drinking you can often “get away with” by keeping up appearances and functioning on the surface. She also opens up about breaking her sobriety after a year and why she’s choosing sobriety again. Stories like this remind us that substance misuse doesn’t look one specific way, and you don’t need a dramatic rock bottom to decide you want better for yourself. Read about Chrissy Tiegen’s sobriety journey here!

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🏆 Win of the Week

• Here’s to everyone who participated in Dry January in whatever way you could! You should be proud of yourself for showing up and making the effort. Hold onto what you learned along the way. There’s so much good ahead. 💛

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✍️ Journal Prompt

When was the last time leaning on someone else or supporting someone else brought you a sense of calm, joy, or contentment? How might you invite more of that into your life?

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Always cheering you on,

-Steph & Annie

P.S. Have ideas for anything you’d like to see in this newsletter? Comment on this post or reply to this email!