The joy of reclaiming spaces!!
Soberchella recap <3
Hi everyone! Long time no chat. April was the busiest month ever! I’m feeling very grateful for all the work and social things I got to be part of, and also happy to be slowing down a bit over the next couple months.
One fun update: I went to Coachella Bieberchella with my four best girlfriends, which was monumental for sooo many reasons. We all went to his tour together back in middle school, and getting to see him perform together again all these years later was so special. I could genuinely go on forever about his performance and what it meant to me (he was so happy 🥺), but I’ll spare you all and leave it at that.
This trip was also significant because my past Coachella experiences looked very different. The first two times I went in college, I barely remember much of it. And the last time I went in 2022, I relapsed after two years of sobriety. Going into this weekend, I wasn’t necessarily worried I would drink, but I definitely carried a lot of emotion with me.
I was nervous I wouldn’t feel as connected to my friends at the festival, or that I’d feel left out being the only sober one. But honestly, I ended up feeling more connected to my friends than I have in a long time. I loved being able to drive us in and out of the festival, keep us on schedule for sets, and fully take everything in. I genuinely had some of the most fun I’ve ever had! Dancing and grooving with my best friends - it was magical!!
I share this as encouragement for anyone who might need to hear it: getting sober doesn’t mean your fun is over. You can reclaim spaces and experiences you once loved. It takes time to stop framing drinking as something you’re “missing out on” or something that makes experiences better, but trust me: being able to actually feel everything, and REMEMBER it, makes life even better 🥹
— Steph
If you’re new, check out our intro to Steady Sunday here!
💻 This Week’s Meetings
You can always find our full monthly meeting calendar here!
Tuesday, 5/12 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET
Thursday, 5/14— 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET
Sunday, 5/17 — 10-11 a.m. PT / 1-2 p.m. ET
Zoom meeting links are sent in our Discord chat:
✨ Meeting Notes
This week, we talked about struggling to stay sober. If your sobriety hasn’t been as consistent as you hoped, know that this is far more common than you may think. What matters most is that you’re willing to try again. Every time you return to sobriety, you are building more strength, insight, and resilience. Think about the compassion and grace you give to others in recovery— none of us have had a “perfect” or “easy” sobriety journey, but we still respect and admire each other for the strength it takes to keep showing up for ourselves. If this resonates with you, remember that everyone’s journey looks different and healing is not linear. ❤️
We also talked about codependency and how many of us have experienced it in relationships, whether with a partner, friend, family member, or someone else. Codependency isn’t just relying on another person too much. It often looks like sacrificing your own self-worth, needs, and sense of self in order to prioritize someone else’s feelings or keep the peace. While it’s a layered topic, here are a few reminders to hold onto:
You cannot control, fix, or manage another person. You do not need to carry guilt for something that was never yours to control.
Your feelings matter just as much as theirs. Healthy relationships are reciprocal, not one-sided.
You are allowed to have boundaries. You get to honor your values, protect your peace, and take up space.
We also chatted about friendships that cause us stress, and why we may stay in them. In some cases, it can feel easier to walk away from a romantic partner when they aren’t treating you well, especially if you already know they aren’t someone you see a long-term future with. But friendships can be much harder to navigate. Maybe it’s because friendships don’t come with the same implied “end goal” that romantic relationships do. With friends, the goal is often companionship and connection which can come in many different forms, so unless something becomes undeniably toxic, there’s rarely a clear breaking point or obvious reason to “end it”. In that way, stressful friendships can exist in a gray area where the relationship may drain you, but not enough to justify walking away entirely.
✍️ Journal Prompt
Is there anywhere in your life where you’re making yourself smaller to keep others comfortable?
Maybe it looks like not standing up for yourself when you’re being mistreated because you want to avoid conflict. Or maybe you downplay your personality or the positive things happening in your life because you fear being shut down.
What is one small step you can take to start taking up the space you deserve?
Always cheering you on,
-Steph & Annie
P.S. Have ideas for anything you’d like to see in this newsletter? Comment on this post or reply to this email!