The quiet gift of steadiness...
Finding contentment beyond the highs and lows.
Hi all! Happy Sunday! Just a quick housekeeping note…ideally we’d like to get these newsletters out before our Sunday meetings, but sometimes life gets in the way :) In this week’s case, I was busy all week prepping for De Soi’s big Dry January pop-up yesterday - which went great!
This morning’s meeting was full of sobriety milestones, ranging from 10 days to 6 months. And as Z so beautifully put it, this journey is reciprocal: those with less time benefit from hearing from those with more time, and vice versa <3
Feeling so grateful for you all! Hope everyone has an amazing week.
— Steph
If you’re new, check out our intro to Steady Sunday here.
💻 This Week’s Meetings
Sunday, 1/11 — 10-11 a.m. PT / 1-2 p.m. ET
Tuesday, 1/13 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET
Thursday, 1/15 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET
Meeting links are sent in our Discord chat:
✨ Meeting Notes
This week, we talked about how socializing without alcohol can feel hard, no matter how long you’ve been sober. We’re often taught to believe that drinking makes us more relaxed or fun, so choosing not to drink can leave us feeling uncomfortable or out of place. But it’s worth asking yourself: 1) do you actually like who you are when you’re drinking? and 2) are the friendships centered around drinking truly fulfilling? While it can be tough to feel like the only one not drinking at social events, it can also be incredibly empowering. Sobriety gives you the chance to trust yourself, stay grounded in who you are, and connect with others on a more genuine level.
When cravings hit, they can feel loud and overwhelming. Your addictive brain can be very convincing telling you that you need to drink or use. This is completely normal, and it’s often just your brain seeking dopamine (the chemical tied to relief/pleasure). Here are a few tips to help you ride out a craving without giving in:
Play the tape forward. Gently remind yourself what would realistically happen if you drank or used, not the short-lived fantasy your brain offers in the moment.
Distract yourself. Shift your focus by staying busy. Take a walk, call someone, clean, journal, or do anything that helps the urge lose momentum. [In fact, studies have shown that the average craving tends to last around 20 minutes, so as long as you can distract yourself for that long, the worst of the craving will likely subside.]
Prioritize your sobriety. Protect your peace by avoiding triggers, especially when your sobriety feels vulnerable. Nothing is worth sacrificing your progress. And yes, this may mean saying no to a dinner with friends or other plans if you don’t feel strong enough to go.
Remember that cravings are temporary, and over time they become less frequent and less intense. You’ve got this ❤️
When you’re new to sobriety, it’s common to experience the “pink cloud,” a phase of intense happiness and optimism about your new sober life that isn’t always sustainable. When it fades, emotions can swing the other way and feel heavy or discouraging. This is normal and there’s nothing wrong with you or your journey if you experience this. Early sobriety is a big adjustment! Think of it this way: sobriety is likely the first time in a while you’re experiencing your emotions without substances numbing or amplifying them. Learning to face your sober feelings can feel scary and unfamiliar, but with time, you’ll come to understand what a gift it actually is.
Many people know the “obvious” benefits of sobriety—better physical and mental health. But what’s talked about less is the quiet contentment that comes from the steadiness of a sober life. Not the high highs, but a life that feels calmer, more manageable, and easier to trust yourself. On the surface, it might seem boring, but for many of us, it’s this feeling of steadiness that matters most.
🏆 Win of the Week
A.P.C. is 3 weeks sober!
G.S. is 2 weeks sober (and took their first ski lesson)!
J.G. hit 6 months sober!
✍️ Journal Prompt
A perk of sobriety is that we get to decide how we show up in social spaces (vs letting alcohol dictate our actions and words). That said,
How do you hope people feel after they spend time with you?
Always cheering you on,
-Steph & Annie
P.S. Have ideas for anything you’d like to see in this newsletter? Comment on this post or reply to this email!