These feelings won't last forever...
On friendship shifts, family tension, and feeling left out
Hi everyone, Annie here!
Happy Super Bowl Sunday to all who celebrate, and here’s to those of us braving the day sober! (If you don’t live in the U.S., just picture New Year’s or St. Patrick’s Day–level drinking, add sports with a heavy emphasis on beer— That’s what today is.) While days like this can remind many of us how grateful we are to not be drinking, it can still be hard to feel like the odd one out. If this comes up for you, remember that you’re not missing out by staying sober, you’re actually choosing something better for yourself. You’re also totally allowed to leave or opt out entirely of the festivities. Your peace and healing come FIRST!! The Discord chat is always open if you need to vent, get some quick support, or just be reminded that you’re not alone.
Have fun, be safe, and go Seahawks! (JK I know nothing about actual football, but I hope both teams have fun <3) Now on with the newsletter!
— Annie
If you’re new, check out our intro to Steady Sunday here!
💻 This Week’s Meetings
You can always find our full monthly meeting calendar here!
Sunday, 2/8 — 10-11 a.m. PT / 1-2 p.m. ET
Tuesday, 2/10 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET
Thursday, 2/12 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET
Sunday, 2/15 — 10-11 a.m. PT / 1-2 p.m. ET
Zoom meeting links are sent in our Discord chat:
✨ Meeting Notes
Recently, we reflected on an important question: Do you really want to drink “normally,” or do you want to drink on your own terms, without any consequences? Many of us tell ourselves we wish we could moderate, but if we’re honest, moderation was never realistic for us or what we even actually wanted. When we accept that our lives are better with alcohol completely off the table as an option, we can finally find true freedom. As the saying goes, “One is too many and a thousand is never enough”.
This week, we talked about how addictive our phones can feel and the shame that often follows when we find ourselves reaching for them out of habit, boredom, or as a form of escape. The more we shared, the clearer it became just how common this is, and that we’re not alone in it. Here are a few tips we discussed to combat this:
If you’re going to be on your phone, try to be intentional about the content you’re consuming. You’re allowed to unfollow accounts that leave you feeling insecure, drained, or overly negative. While you can’t fully control your feed, you can curate it to include more uplifting, inspiring, fun, or educational content.
Be mindful of when and why you’re using your phone, rather than reaching for it automatically. Pause and ask yourself what you’re looking for in that moment, and give yourself permission to take breaks. One member shared that setting a timer has helped limit how much doomscrolling happens.
Lean into hobbies that don’t involve screens, like reading, crafting, cooking, or spending time outside. It can feel incredibly grounding and refreshing to unplug, even for a little while.
Lastly, don’t beat yourself up if you’re struggling with this. We live in a technology obsessed world and it’s human to get caught up in it. Try to come from a place of wanting better for yourself, not shaming yourself for where you’re at. 💛
Navigating changing friendship dynamics in sobriety can be so tough. It’s normal to feel left out or disconnected from friends. If you’ve always been the “fun party friend”, giving up drinking can feel like you’re losing a part of your identity and even the friendships that were built around that version of you. Please trust that it won’t feel this way forever. With time, your friendships will start to feel natural again and/or you’ll make new friends that actually fit this new stage of your life! You might not be the person people call for a crazy night out anymore (or maybe you still will be!), but you may find yourself becoming the friend they call when they need a listening ear or a wholesome weekend.
This week we talked about the question: what’s actually healthier —having a fight, or not talking about something at all? Often, being the “peacekeeper” gets a bad rap, and it can feel like you’re supposed to have hard conversations all the time instead of letting things slide. But there’s nothing wrong with needing a non-conflict weekend. Not every moment is the right space for a hard conversation, and sometimes choosing when to talk is just as healthy as choosing to talk.
🏆 Win of the Week
L.M. is 1 week sober!!!!
✍️ Journal Prompt
Reflect on a time when your growth or healing also came with a sense of loss. What did you have to let go of, and how did that feel? How did this loss make space for who you are becoming?
Always cheering you on,
-Steph & Annie
P.S. Have ideas for anything you’d like to see in this newsletter? Comment on this post or reply to this email!