Your presence > perfect advice
Being there is enough :)
Hi everyone! Sorry for the lack of newsletter last week. Annie and I were busy being corporate girlies.
I was in Miami last weekend for the South Beach Food & Wine Festival where my company (De Soi) was sampling. Let me tell you, I did not expect to spend as much time in and around wine/booze culture as I do working for a non-alcoholic cocktail brand.
There are moments when my lack of knowledge about the wine and spirits world makes me feel a little behind at work. I stopped drinking before I ever really got into wine or cocktails, so it can feel like I skipped a chapter that everyone else has read. At work, we’re constantly talking about cocktails, flavor profiles, and the occasions we’re designing drinks for and I never really have anything to add to the conversation. I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but it’s been on my mind lately! I also know this feeling isn’t unique to me (looking at you sober bartenders/servers).
All in all, I’m really proud of myself. The festival was three full days surrounded by booths pouring free alcohol, and I still walked away feeling grounded and accomplished! And that’s thanks to the solid foundation I’ve built over the last 6 years with the help of you all <3
— Steph
If you’re new, check out our intro to Steady Sunday here!
💻 This Week’s Meetings
You can always find our full monthly meeting calendar here!
Tuesday, 3/3 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET
Thursday, 3/5 — 5:30-6:30 p.m. PT / 8:30-9:30 p.m. ET
Sunday, 3/8 — 10-11 a.m. PT / 1-2 p.m. ET
Zoom meeting links are sent in our Discord chat:
✨ Meeting Notes
Sometimes maturing means realizing that you can’t fix a loved one’s problems, no matter how much you care. You don’t have to put all that pressure on yourself to have the “perfect” advice. Most of the time, people just want someone to sit with them and really listen. You don’t have to solve anything - just being there and showing that you care is enough.
It’s okay to realize that your role in someone’s life isn’t to be their support system. Sometimes you’re too close, or the relationship just doesn’t work that way, and that’s perfectly okay!
Many of us on our sober journeys have experienced people projecting their own drinking discomfort onto us. Sometimes it shows up as “jokes”, subtle comments, pressure, or assumptions about what our boundaries are. It can feel like we’re being judged, excluded, or made into “the buzzkill”. If someone seems uncomfortable around your sobriety or keeps framing it as a negative, remember that this likely has everything to do with them and not you. You get to decide what your sober social life looks like. You get to set your boundaries. And you don’t have to shrink, explain, or compromise your growth to make someone else feel more comfortable.
This week, we talked about the importance of having an accountability buddy, whether it’s for your sobriety or something else you’re working toward. When you share a commitment with someone you trust and explain why it matters to you, you’re much more likely to follow through. The next time you need some extra support, whether that’s attending an event where you might feel tempted to drink, having a difficult but necessary conversation, or making some other positive change in your life, consider asking someone to be your accountability buddy! Having somebody in your corner who encourages you and is there to support you can make all the difference. You can always reach out in the Discord chat too :) As we often say, “Healing cannot happen in isolation”!
🏆 Win of the Week
Z.S. got into GRAD SCHOOL!
L.S. is 5 days sober!
J is 3 days sober!
SO PROUD OF YOU ALL!!!
✍️ Journal Prompt
Reflect on a time when you may’ve felt pressure to placate someone else’s discomfort with your sobriety.
Did you downplay your boundaries, laugh something off that bothered you, or stay quiet to keep the peace? How did that feel afterward?
Now imagine what it looks like to stand firmly in your sobriety and advocate for yourself. How do you deserve to be treated, and what would honoring that actually look like? ❤️
Always cheering you on,
-Steph & Annie
P.S. Have ideas for anything you’d like to see in this newsletter? Comment on this post or reply to this email!